begin where i am

There are these things I want to do less of
Like spending time on social media
Devouring sugar
Eating gluten filled foods
And even savoring an alcoholic beverage

I know my consumption is not out of control
But I want to step back
Be more intentional
Choose differently
And make the choice that I know I am craving

What’s funny is since I have made this conscious decision
All I want to do is each of these things
On my mind at work is getting reese’s pieces from the vending machine
At home I want to end the day with a glass of wine
And I can’t say no to having a sandwich for dinner

Before making this choice
I never gave much thought to each of these things
But upon deciding to do less
I just want to do it more
What causes this emotional mind game

These internal restrictions are weighing me down
I feel backed into a corner
When the intention was to be free
I want to say no
But all I can say is yes

How do I find my balance
What do I need to do to make my mind strong enough
Is there a way to navigate this terrain with ease
I know they say it takes two weeks to get it out of your system
Will I ever make it through those two weeks

I get so close to staying on track and then I falter
I am learning that I need to be gentle with myself
There will be slip ups
But that doesn’t mean I am totally off track
I just need to get back up and begin where I am