When I moved out of my very first apartment in Mahwah I cried. I was only moving across the street to a different apartment in the same complex, but I cried non the less. Then when I moved out of that apartment to move here, I cried. I told Dustin when we move out of here I will cry as well. And today, as I am moving out of my old blog on blogger to this new space, you guessed it. . . . I am crying.
I am nostalgic about these types of movements in our lives. With each of the homes I have lived in, including my virtual home online, so many memories had been created within their walls. Friends and family invited over. New loves spending the night. Relationships beginning and relationships ending. Dinner parties. Game nights. Deep thoughts and dark cries. Bad dreams startling me in my sleep and good dreams coming true, right in front of my very own eyes.
Each door closed with a new beginning. Memories tucked into my pockets. Stories savored and remembered. A new journey to take, a new space to make my own. I have a lifetimes worth of lessons sewn into my heart. I know the rough roads and the roads of glory. With each beginning I have a new sense of confidence in myself that I could start again, this time a little bit wiser than the time before.
I remember each time I closed the door for the very last time. The quietness in the space. The emptiness once all my stuff was cleared out. My ending was someone else beginning. A space holds whatever you put into it. If you fill it with love, it will hold that love. I am so grateful for each of the spaces that I have lived in. The joy they have brought me. The shelter they have given. Each of them a safe haven when I needed it most. After a long day they were where I had gone to retreat.
This new space holds my past, but also has a bit more room for me to grow into the future. I have brought together my separate worlds under one roof. Giggling in the Rain and Love Notes will now live within each other instead of along side one another. Through this journey I am learning to declare that they are me and are not meant to be separate, but living blissfully together. I struggled with that for awhile, as I still struggle with it with in the corporate world.
But my voice needs to be heard and not just pieces of it when I pick and choose. I am me. . . writer, photographer, gather of individuals, guiding others to find the goodness in their own lives. This is the journey that I am meant to be on. Keeping them separate is not serving me or the world the best it could. They need to be brought together.
So here I am. With my heart on my sleeve, tears in my eyes, ready to begin this new journey. Taking the leap into this grander space. Opening up my heart and inviting you in. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being a part of my story. I am so grateful to have you traveling along side me.