One foot in front of the other as I follow the yellow trail. Up the mountain, around the lake, and back down. This has become one of my favorite places to walk. It is a good balance between climbing and flat terrain with the added bonus of being near the lake.
One foot in front of the other. The worry, the fear, the feelings of not being good enough slowly begin to melt away with each step. I do not need to know where I am going. I just need to keep an eye out for the trail markers as I continue moving forward.
My body falls into a comfortable rhythm. The sound of the dirt and leaves crunching below me calms my heart. It is just me and the trees. There is no where else I need to be. I can take my time here.
For the past four months I have been unearthing unknown ground. Being unemployed has shifted me and pushed me up to my edges. I feel uncertain about the future. It is hard to commit to plans because I do not know where I will end up. What I will be doing? What will my time commitment be? It all feels uncertain.
As I follow the yellow trail I wish that there were trail markers for this unknown journey. Something lighting the way and showing me where to go. People tell me to embrace the unknown and yes it is an exciting time but it is also a scary place to be.
There have been times it has filled me with doubt. Wondering if I am good enough. Wondering if someone will ever want to hire me. Wondering what it is I really am meant to do. Many times in the past four months I have pulled the Angel card that speaks about “service”. It continues to remind me to show up and serve others and everything else will work out.
I want to carve my own trail. Leave the markers that light the way for others. Be a guide during there toughest times and place that they can come to rest and heal. But what does that really look like? How do I create that trail?
Just like anything else in life it is one step at a time. One small micro movement which brings you closer to unearthing life’s biggest plan. Right now for me that next step is to find a space to host a retreat. It has been a dream that has lived and breathed in my heart for so long and it is time for me to stop playing small and start playing BIG!
And even there are no trail markers guiding my way I know that I can blaze my own path and create a trail that others can walk with me on. And so I begin.