Since losing my mom four years ago Mother’s Day has become a reminder that time with our loved ones is finite. We never know when the day will come that we have to say your final goodbye to someone we adore. Either you will have to say goodbye to someone you love or they to you. It is inevitable.
This day of celebration for moms everywhere is also a reminder that I will never get the chance to talk to her again. I won’t hear her the sound of her voice or the joy in her laughter I can’t look into her eyes or see her wide proud smile. We won’t get another chance to spend the day crafting. She won’t be there to cheer me on when I accomplish my dreams. Or to simply hang out with in the backyard.
We will never get the chance to create another memory together again.
Four years ago I became a motherless child. Four years ago and yet it still doesn’t feel real. There are times when I reach for my phone wanting to send her a message. Looking to invite her to something I know she would love. Wanting to get together just to catch up. There are so many stories that I want to share. Advice I need. Corny jokes to tell.
There is so much that she has missed.
But there is also so much that has happened that I never anticipated or expected in her passing. Individuals have stepped in to mother me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. Aunts, cousins, friends and even strangers have helped to fill that void.
They reach out and hold my hand along the journey.
Inviting me in, and providing a comfortable place to land.
They look out for me and cheer me on.
Listening to stories and dreams deep from my heart.
They know how proud my would be of me, and aren’t shy about letting me know.
But most of all, they share stories about her, keeping her memory alive.
I couldn’t be more grateful for these Fairy Moms. Sprinkling me with stardust, helping me see the way forward, and providing encouragement to keep on growing. I don’t know where I would be had they not shined a light to help me find my way.
Because of them, I am able to trudge through my grief and come out on the other side. They sit with my tears, soak up my sadness, and remind me that I am never alone. They are a blessing in my life.
As Mother’s Day approaches I think of all they have done. The way they have shown up. The hugs they have given. The meals they have provided. The love they have shown. My heart swirls with gratitude. And I know that I can’t let this time pass by without letting them know how grateful I am for everything.
My friend Sherry Belul of Simply Celebrate has a new book out called “Say It Now.” It is filled with ideas and stories about taking the time to give someone a creative gift that lets them know how much they mean to you. One simple way to do this is through a Love List. A simple list of why you adore them. Sharing a favorite memory, what they taught you, how they make you feel. The mushier the better.
For my Fairy Mom’s this is something I would like to gift them. A little piece of my heart letting them know how amazing they are. How bright their light shines. And how deeply I appreciate them. It sounds so simple; a list of reasons why … but it is packed with so much heart and soul.
Because sometimes our relationship with our mom may be hard. It may not be what we want or need. She may be gone. Or here, but not really here. Sometimes fairys step in and shower you with the compassion you need and life is never the same. What about making a love list for those folks and letting them know how much they mean to you? I dare you!