It’s been a long day. I feel the weight of my interactions on my shoulders. Tension has built. Conversations have gone south. Blame has been cast. It’s been a doozy.
I turn off the radio in the car as I drive home.
My ears are craving silence.
My heart needs space to breathe.
It wasn’t one of my best days. There were lessons learned. Many moments where my mind was blown away over how some individuals choose to act. Lots of doubt and unraveling.
Now here I am, ready to enter my home. I know that I don’t want to carry this heaviness in with me. I carried it around long enough today. It’s time to shake it free.
When I walk through these doors, I will be entering my sacred space. A place I can relax into. A home where the love of my life greats me. What has happened outside of those four walls no longer needs to be held. It’s time to put it down.
It took me a while to learn this lesson. To figure out how to release the weight of the day before arriving. To not bring in with me the tension that doesn’t serve me.
There have been too many times when I didn’t let it go. When I took out my frustrations or discontentment on someone, who didn’t deserve it. Someone who stood beside me when everything was crumbling. Someone who I loved dearly.
Here’s what I now know.
The drive home sometimes isn’t enough for me to shake it. My body needs movement to release the weight of the day. A walk around the block before entering my home does wonders for my mind and my relationship.
Deep breaths help, but sometimes I need to belt out a song and have a dance party for one. Even if it is while stuck in traffic.
Being aware of what I am feeling is essential. To sink into the hug rather than put up a wall. To express the struggle rather than let it take over.
And in doing this, I am feeling so much more me. Connecting to what lights me up rather than what drives me down. Release what I don’t need and focusing on what I do.
We all carry around with us everything that happens moment from moment. But you don’t have to. You can release it. You can let it go. You can allow yourself space to merely dive into your joy. But you must make the conscious effort to do so.
And this is what I am doing now. Being conscious of my choices. Choosing what I want to enter my home and what I want to leave at the door. Yes, there are outside forces that will always have an impact on me. But I am the one who controls how I react.
I choose love.
I choose joy.
I choose kindness.
I choose to let the struggle go and lean into the goodness.
What about you? What do you choose?