On the first of January, I sat in my meditation corner and thought deeply about how I wanted to move through this year with intention. The end of 2018 felt like a whirlwind and I was ready to slow down. I was tired of rushing from one thing to the next.Read More
In Northeast NJ the leaves are turning brilliant colors of red, yellow, and orange. Rather than cling on to their branches and hope that nothing changes they feel the shift inside and choose to let go. They do not worry about the journey ahead. They simply trust their intuition, follow what feels right and release.Read More
What makes being human beautiful is that we are all uniquely different. There are things that come naturally to you. You show up and do them exceptionally well without even having to think about it. These are your strengths and make up your divine spirit.Read More
One foot in front of the other as I follow the yellow trail. Up the mountain, around the lake, and back down. This has become one of my favorite places to walk. It is a good balance between climbing and flat terrain with the added bonus of being near the lake.
One foot in front of the other. The worry, the fear, the feelings of not being good enough slowly begin to melt away with each step. I do not need to know where I am going. I just need to keep an eye out for the trail markers as I continue moving forward.
My body falls into a comfortable rhythm. The sound of the dirt and leaves crunching below me calms my heart. It is just me and the trees. There is no where else I need to be. I can take my time here.
For the past four months I have been unearthing unknown ground. Being unemployed has shifted me and pushed me up to my edges. I feel uncertain about the future. It is hard to commit to plans because I do not know where I will end up. What I will be doing? What will my time commitment be? It all feels uncertain.
As I follow the yellow trail I wish that there were trail markers for this unknown journey. Something lighting the way and showing me where to go. People tell me to embrace the unknown and yes it is an exciting time but it is also a scary place to be.
There have been times it has filled me with doubt. Wondering if I am good enough. Wondering if someone will ever want to hire me. Wondering what it is I really am meant to do. Many times in the past four months I have pulled the Angel card that speaks about “service”. It continues to remind me to show up and serve others and everything else will work out.
I want to carve my own trail. Leave the markers that light the way for others. Be a guide during there toughest times and place that they can come to rest and heal. But what does that really look like? How do I create that trail?
Just like anything else in life it is one step at a time. One small micro movement which brings you closer to unearthing life’s biggest plan. Right now for me that next step is to find a space to host a retreat. It has been a dream that has lived and breathed in my heart for so long and it is time for me to stop playing small and start playing BIG!
And even there are no trail markers guiding my way I know that I can blaze my own path and create a trail that others can walk with me on. And so I begin.
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There are moments in life when the path feels unclear. You don’t know if you should slow down, speed up, or just stop all together. You try to listen deeply to what your heart is saying but there is so much uncertainty you can’t seem to hone in on what you truly want.
You feel twisted and unsettled. You have no idea where to go. You want this uneasy feeling to be over with already. You wish you could click your heels and be standing on the other side. Looking at if from a different vantage point. The view of having made it through.
But here you are in these uncharted waters. Deep in the uncomfortable growth is happening. You are learning to steer your own ship. You are figuring out slowly what the next right move is and you are taking it. You aren’t rising in leaps and bounds but you know that all you need is be right here.
You know you will find your way somehow. You always have. Even when you were at your darkest points you rose above from the ashes. You learned to stand on your own two feet and walk again. If you did it then you can make it through this.
Life has a way of throwing curves balls all the time. It is not in avoiding them that you become who you are but in facing them head on and learning how to swing. Do not be discouraged when you strike out. You will get another chance at the plate.
Remember your strengths. Don’t shy away from who you are. Don’t try to push down this uncomfortable feeling. Be fully in it.
You don’t know where you are going to end up. Embrace the journey. Live in the moment. Cry when you are sad. Laugh when you are happy. Invite others in. Share your story and know that you are never alone.